you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
