If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
