Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
