Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
