Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
