Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
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