Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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