just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Dick very happy bro
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