I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize