and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
