Whod you bang
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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