Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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