Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
