that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
