He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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