The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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