I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
