dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
