Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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