We won't sleep together?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
