your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
