My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
