If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
