All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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