That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
