Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
