I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
