This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
