I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
