after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Vodka?
Forever.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
