I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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