wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
