She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Also, beer. Big fan.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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