is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
