we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize
