I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
The dick lei will go down in squad history
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
