Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
