your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
