drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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