My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Mom said you looked used
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
