Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
