I heard we made out
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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