Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
