I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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