I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
