i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
