Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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