you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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