u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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