New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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