I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
